Ordinary Days

A large part of the past year has been very much dominated by my business life. I have been consumed by the demands of establishing objectives and goals, gathering and analyzing data, responding to questions, and reviewing legal documents. Vacations had been canceled, or deferred, and too frequently I ended up spending the night near the office, unable to face the long commute home in the evening, only to retrace my steps early the following morning. Even on weekends, documents had to be prepared, or reviewed, and often there were conference calls with other members of our management team and outside counsel or other advisers. And with all that, just over a month ago we saw all that we had done and all that we had hoped to achieve had ended in disappointment, even despair, leaving us no closer to achieving our goals than we had been a year ago. But today, I am happy. What is different is my attitude and my focus, both of which recently have been centered on home and family.

There is a prayer I like that says: "Oh ordinary day, let me be grateful for the treasure that you are". It's the antithesis of the attitude that responds to the common question of: "What's new?" with the threadbare canned reply: "Nothing, just the same old, same old." Maybe it's getting older, at least in part, that heightens my appreciation for the daily ordinary. With each passing year we see another of our contemporaries suddenly facing a precipitous decline in their health, leaving them forever changed, impaired, diminished. It's easy to imagine how they would cherish the ability to set back the clock of their lives to an ordinary day, one just like all the others when they were healthy, and whole, and happy. So much of this is trite, old news. Forty years ago, Joni Mitchell lamented with us: "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?" And yet, for me at least, it is precisely because an idea is trite, an old saw, even obvious and banal, that I usually need to be reminded of the simple truth that it contains, the essential life lesson that deserves a larger part of my daily attention. That's the path to wisdom, and serenity.

The singer-songwriter Carrie Newcomer to me seems to possess a gift for elevating out of the myriad ordinary elements and experiences of our often too busy days those persons and moments that hint at transcendence, or even that give evidence of the sacred in our lives, and to bring them into attention in ways that sometimes elicit a chuckle, and other times a gasp. With an outlook that refuses to consider anyone unimportant, any experience unworthy of reflection, in simple, everyday language she provokes me to consider the many ways in which each day is suffused with spirituality, yes even with the Spirit of God. Her music inspires and unsettles; it is a cause for joy, and a reminder to do better, to pay closer attention. Listening to the message of her songs is a comforting reassurance, as well as a lesson in how much of the content and message of each day I miss by failing to pay attention and to savor the treasure of that ordinary day.

Later this year, Carrie is going to be at a retreat center in the Pocono Mountains where she'll be leading a seminar on the topic: "Writing Mindfully: Exploring the Sacred Ordinary." It's billed to be pitched to "songwriters, poetry and prose writers of all experience levels…", and I certainly hope that is true, particularly the "all experience levels" part. I'm going to attend that weekend, and we'll see if the prose of an aging lawyer is malleable enough to learn to grapple with the sacred ordinary. I hope so. In a way that's what I hoped to find a way to do each time I've started a journal or a blog entry - to use the medium of writing to organize my thinking, to examine my experience, and, perhaps, in so doing, better to understand both the experience and the writer. We shall see. I'm guessing that if anyone can help make that happen, Carrie Newcomer is the gal to do it. Stay tuned, see what happens, even comment if you like. It's a process, a journey, an evolution, and every insight is worth considering. See, I'm learning already.

There is an instinct in us for newness for renewal,
for a liberation of creative power.
We seek to awaken in ourselves
a force that really changes our life from within.
And yet this same instinct tell us
That this change is a recovery of that which is deepest,
most original, most personal in ourselves.

–Thomas Merton

Priorities

Recently, I've been getting some pretty rabid emails from folks who seem to be certain that the effect on our country of the Health Care legislation recently passed by the Obama administration should be counted on a par with what that pesky meteor did to the dinosaurs. Well, maybe it should. But I came across something on the web today that suggests that I'm not the only one who wonders what standards folks are applying in reaching their conclusions, and why some are suddenly awake to goings on in Washington, when it would have seemed to be to them a fairly uninteresting topic for much of the past decade. So, in case you missed this, I thought I'd share.....

"You didn't get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.

You didn't get mad when Cheney allowed energy company officials to dictate energy policy.

You didn't get mad when the president ignored the clear and timely warning that terrorists were going to hijack planes and fly them into the WTC towers.

You didn't get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.

You didn't get mad when the weapons inspectors, who said there were no WMDs, were ignored.

You didn't get mad when we spent over 600 billion(and counting) on said illegal war.

You didn't get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq.

You didn't get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

You didn't get mad when hundreds of thousands of people died in Iraq.

You didn't get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.

You didn't get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.

You didn't get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.

You didn't get mad when we didn't catch Bin Laden.

You didn't get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.

You didn't get mad when we let a major US city, New Orleans, drown.

You didn't get mad when we gave a 900 billion tax break to the rich.

You didn't get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark.

You finally got mad when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick.  Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all okay with you, but helping other Americans...oh hell no."

Being silly...a calling

My granddaughter, Caris, a while back (when she was 2-3-ish) began to say that Popi is silly, and then giggle with the fun of it. Later, it became a point of pride with me that, when questioned by her dad about who's the silliest person she knows, the answer is always: "Popi". Sometimes my exalted status is also expressed by her as: "Popi is soooo silly." And now her younger sister has taken up that refrain - and seemingly spontaneously.

So here I am.....a 65 year old lawyer, accountant, business executive, mover and shaker.... and one of my greatest joys in life comes when Caris or Caleigh giggle ferociously, point, and once again confirm that there's something at which I am the very best......

To Do List Conundrum

Getting organized is a great idea, but only so long as it leads to action and progress. In my own case, I've found that too often I spend time making "To Do" lists, prioritizing them, attaching notes and early ideas for action to the items, and then moving on to other matters, acting as if the making of the list accomplished the jobs. Of course, I know better, and the thought that a project or a task is done never actually enters my mind, at least consciously. But the upshot of my list making, my behavior, has not been to lead me down some nicely ordered path toward having accomplished the things on my list.

In the making of lists
is hidden a risk
It's surprising, and subtle,
but real

For writing things down
can make one a clown
to the sense they're now done
that we feel.

So what's the lesson? Fewer lists? Less rigorously ordered lists? More time DOING things and less time making lists? Yes, probably all of those are good ideas. But maybe it's simpler yet.

My Dad used to work in a job that required him to travel several times a year, often for up to 6 weeks at a time. As you might imagine, his inbox would be filled when he returned from a trip, and I recall asking him one day how he managed to deal with all the things that had backed up in his absence. I figured that as he had been successful in his career, he might have some powerful insight to share on how he organized his time and attention. "Well", he told me, "I just pick up the top item on the pile and I deal with it. When I'm done with that, I tackle the next item."

Does anyone else share my penchant for over complicating my life?

Could this be next?

Recently, as I approach age 65, and with the business where I work probably in line to be sold within the year, I've been thinking a lot about what comes next. Like so many others, I've thought about traveling some, but that only goes so far in filling time. And it is not a life, not a reason to get up in the morning feeling motivated, and needed.

Muhammad Yunus no doubt arises each morning with a strong sense of purpose - a mission really. He's the creator of the concept of micro-credit - making small loans to poor people to enable them to begin to pull themselves out of poverty, and to begin to build a new way of life, based on micro-businesses.

Consider the work Dr. Yunus has begun, and is doing...

At the Yunus Center
http://www.muhammadyunus.org/

And in loaning money to the poorest of the poor - with fantastic results.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxpTFwQx-A8

So I wonder, in the spirit of "And now....", can I help here, learn from this man, and build on it with my professional and life experience?

"A journey of a thousand miles....."

I came across this today, and it seemed like something I'd like to remember......and share.

So for all those who might be interested.......

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing you too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

- Anonymous

Celebrating Memories

Recently, I've gone on something of a cyber-binge, joining social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook and My Space, and even beginning this blog, which I've thought about doing for some time. In some cases, setting up my Profile or populating the templates for these sites has sent me looking for pictures to use as my "avatar" on the site, or to tell something about me. And it's been a ball, as it's given me an opportuntity to review some older shots, to remember some of the many, many fun times I've enjoyed, and to revisit a few of my favorite pictures of people and experiences. Here are a few that I wanted to share.

In 2004, Suzanne and I turned 60, and Chuck, Kathie and Allie gifted us with a trip to Alaska with an "adventure" outfitter. We went hiking, kayaking, and biking with a few other familes and a couple of guides from the outfitter.


Dave - one of our guides - took the picture. Obviously he's had some practice in making sure that he gets in these group shots.

Along the way, Suz and I got to experience some of the most wonderful country and scenery.






And share this wonderful adventure with The Montclair Bonds




Even when the "adventures" had us feeling like we wanted to collapse..


And just a couple more.......two shots I came across again that are favorites of mine.....of the lady who makes my life a Disneyesque party.




And now, another birthday approaches. No adventure trip awaits, but that is not to say I'm not expecting adventure.